How to train your feather
by FluffyBookwurm
Summary: Some feathers or quills have a will of their own.....


**How to train your feather   
**  
author: Veer

beta: Nat

rating: G

{ ... } =Albus thoughts

# ... # = Fawkes thoughts

[ ... ] = Pink Fluffy Feather thoughts

First of all. Let me tell you I am not ordinary. No way in hell. I am extraordinary. Very. And this story will give you an indication of just how that is the case.**Many, many years ago **  
  
Today the Master made me. Or should I say created me. I am so pleased to be finally existing. I am not pleased, however, with my colour. Master thought that I should be black. Horrible colour. Not good for my image. No we can't have that. I will change my colour at the earliest possible time.**Many years later   
**  
Some clumsy wizard ... no, not Neville Longbottom. Come on. He is not even born yet! There are MORE clumsy wizards you know (and witches ofcourse but in this case it is a wizard). Anyway, some clumsy wizard did a spell on me. Of course it didn't work out the way he wanted. BUT it gave me the opportunity to finally change myself. I am proud to announce that from this day forward everyone will see me as I was supposed to be from the very beginning: a pink fluffy feather.**Interlude **  
  
Though nobody understands the very reasons why I exist. There are some wizards and witches or other beings who have tried to bend me to their will. They thought they could train a feather ... train ME! Hah! They were so wrong. But for the benefit of all my fellow feathers I will tell about one of those efforts. For it is amusing, I think.  
  
Exactly how I ended up in a box with black velvet (Oh well... with black velvet the pink of ME comes out so much better!!) is something I still wonder. The same for me somehow turning up in Hogwarts as well. Anyone who thinks I am an ordinary feather. Think again. I am proud to say that I am the most extraordinary quill that has ever roamed the wizard's world.**Present time  
**  
Albus was reading in some very thick dusty book. It was something he had come across recently when cleaning up his private library. Oh well, his office. He had stashed quite some books in there for the last couple of decades and some of the books he hadn't even read yet. So many books and so little time. Especially when that naughty Voldy was playing his devilish tricks once in a while. No it was more than once in a while actually. In fact, you could say, it was rather often. But now that Voldy was somewhere else on the planet making a nuisance of himself Albus thought it would be a relief for once to do something he had wished to do so many times the last couple of years, read ... read ... read ...  
  
It was not only Voldy though that could keep him from reading. No, those nasty little buggers ... oops ... sorry ... those intelligent (cough cough) students of his would keep him from that too. With all those pranks they played or the mess they got themselves into. Sometimes he wished he never had excepted the job of Headmaster. It was keeping him from his wor ... oops ... hobbies. Back to the thick volume, covered in cobwebs. As the titlepage was missing and the title also didn't appear somewhere else in or outside the book, Albus didn't know exactly which book he was reading or who had written it. But that didn't stop him from reading. Ever so often he smiled or laughed out loud for what was written down in the book. He was enjoying himself immensely. Of course he didn't believe half of what it was saying but it was fun to read something so lightly.... or so he thought.  
  
# I can't believe it. He doesn't for once think that it could be actually the truth that is down there. Oh well, just have to learn him a lesson than, won't we? #  
  
Oh this is so funny, he laughed in himself: _**Chapter 12 Magical objects that are not so common** You cannot simply touch the objects as they have a magic of their own. It is almost like they are a person, but of course they are not. Always remember the next rules. Rule nr 1 Never use "accio" to retrieve or use the object as this will be like an insult to said object.  
_  
{ How can an object be insulted. That is just ridiculous. }  
  
# You'll see. # If phoenixes could have evil grins than Fawkes would most definitely have one right now.  
  
Albus read on and on and on. Until finally Albus admits to himself that he is tired. So he changes into something comfy and went to his bed.**The next morning, almost afternoon  
**  
Albus woke up and with a huge grin stepped out of his bed. He had been dreaming of funny things. Silly objects which could be insulted but still could do nothing with such a powerfull wizard as himself as their master. He performed his morning rituals and steps in to his office because he wishes to read more in that funny thick dusty book.  
  
"What the hell is that parcel doing on my desk?" Albus was so confused that he almost yelled this in his empty office.  
  
# There you go. Scene 1 and ... action! #  
  
But curiosity got the best of Albus and so he unwrapped the parcel. In it there was a wooden box. Very skillfully made and decorated with funny signs. He opened the box and confusion took over. In it ... on black velvet bedding was a quill. But not an ordinary quill. No ... a pink fluffy quill.  
  
For the next hours ... days actually ... Albus tried to retrieve the quill out of the box. He never even thought of that thick dusty old volume in which he had been reading something hilarious about not so common magical objects. Fawkes was laughing inside and Albus was getting really frustrated. Even lemon drops could not get some positive ideas in the old wizard.  
  
[ Oh isn't that man ever going to learn that I am simply not THAT easy to pick up! Haven't you learnt anything, really this is getting on my nerves. And he is the Headmaster. How did that happen? By accident? ]  
  
{ I will get this quill out of this stupid little wooden box. Even if it is the last thing I do. I couldn't even care if Voldy would appear ... no that is not true. In fact Voldy ... where are you? Can't you distract me for a moment. Just a little bit. Than after that I may have a clear mind and get this blasted pink quill and write with it. Heck why am I even trying? }  
  
"Accio quill."  
  
With a very loud bang the wooden box closed and while doing that it jumped high in the air towards Albus. The lids of the box almost snapped the wand of Albus in two. But thanks to his duelling skills he was just in time to prevent that. It was very curious but it looked as though the box had legs for it changed its position in Albus' office every twenty seconds. So Albus could not get a hold of it. Furthermore everything in his office changed ... it became ... PINK ... You could hear Albus screaming: "AAAAAH!! " But the feather was very lucky that it knew how to use a silencing spell. That's why nobody in Hogwarts heard that scream.  
  
That day Albus could not try to get the quill out of the box again. Because it took the rest of the day and most of the night for the box to quit moving. After that night it was much of the same thing. Albus tried in vain to open the box.**Several days later**  
  
# Scene 204 and ... action! Oh this actually getting very bored. Stupid old man. Really can't he remember he read about rule nr 1? #  
  
Finally Albus gave up. He threw the wooden box with quill on his bed and headed straight back to his office. He went to his desk and his eyes fell on a large thick dusty volume on the floor. The colour pink had faded a little bit away each day and was now gone.  
  
[ Pity. It was such a nice sight. ]  
  
{ Of course, the book ... how could I forget that book? }  
  
# I don't know. What took you so long? #  
  
[ Must be the lemon drops. ]  
  
# I think you're right. #  
  
[ Maybe there was something in it? ]  
  
# Haha. I think that actually those are tequila drops. #  
  
[ Yes. Or that potions master has drugged them or something. ]  
  
# What... Severus? Nah.... we have been here all the time and we haven't seen him in days. He couldn't have. #  
  
[ Oh well, I gues you're right. But I think that it is not tequila but vodka. ]  
  
{ Now where was I with reading? Oh yes, here. Now where was that passage about those magical objects that are not so common. Hmm. Found it. }  
  
[ Bingo! ]  
  
# Albus Dumbledore ... scores! #  
  
{ Oh hell. It only says that you can't touch it and rule nr 1 says that you may never use accio. }  
  
[ Yeah. Well did you think that it would be so easy to use me. ME! ]  
  
{ So that's why it went ballistic the other day. Figures... }  
  
[ Hey, what is that supposed to mean? ]  
  
# I don't know. But my guess is that he was insulting you. #  
  
[ That's not nice. I thought that you said he was nice. ]  
  
# I think that he is getting fed up with the box and all. Maybe we should give him a clue? #  
  
[ No way! We are not giving him a clue. That is not the way it's supposed to be. ]  
  
# Yeah. I guess you're right. #  
  
A very exhausted Albus Dumbledore finally got it after about six months of trying. The usual duels with Voldy and the educating and raising of annoying brats not included. He had tried every summoning and retrieving spell. But finally he got the quill out of the box by simply saying: "iuvo quill"¹.  
  
**FIN**  
  
_Author's note_ - ¹ iuvo: to help, aide, please, assist (with big thanks to Nat for helping me with this one!) 


End file.
